Writing as catharsis

A banshee wail inside my mind

Posted in Prose, Ranting and rambling by Lachlan R. Dale on September 10, 2012
Max Cohen (Sean Gullette) from Darren Aronofsky's "surrealist psychological thriller" Pi.

Max Cohen (Sean Gullette) from Darren Aronofsky’s “surrealist psychological thriller” Pi.

I’ve begun to notice a noise inside my mind; a drone pulsating from a foundation deep within my consciousness

At first it seemed a very distant ache – quite easy to ignore. With the smallest of efforts I can bypass it’s shrill cry.

But each day the volume builds. As it  increases, the wail bores further into my psyche, and it’s shrill cry becomes harder to ignore.

Writing today, it’s purpose seems clear. It is a persistent reminder that there is much I am ignoring.

I’ve been busying myself, and at times I have successfully drowned it out.

I run around with haste; taking on bigger projects; progressing to larger achievements. It is as if I must continue to build; I must continue to rise; there must be constant construction.

But now, as the stories pile higher I look down to notice the base to notice that the core is beginning to rot.

The floor is eroding underneath me.

The top shifts precariously in the wind.

This form of cognitive dissonance is not unknown to me. In my previous employment at a particularly consumer electronics company, that banshee wail caused me pain on an exponential scale with every passing day.

The noise calls for change. Back then it implored me to end my employment at what I considered an unethical company – a waste of time, effort and energy that I could not justify.

Now it calls for attention to be paid to the moral and philosophical questions I am failing to answer.

And I am unsure how much longer I can ignore it.

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